Caregiving and emotional support

End of life care

Cancer care

End of life care

Providing emotional support to someone who is living with and dying of cancer is not an easy thing to do, but there are ways that you can plan and prepare yourself for being there for your loved ones.

Further Information

Contact the central customer service centre on

[email protected] or 0860 NETCARE (0860 638 2273)

Please note that the centre operates on weekdays between 08:00 and 16:00.

Emotional Support

Providing emotional support to a person who is living through the last stages of cancer.

Everyone is different and everyone will have different needs, but there are some worries and fears that are common among most dying patients. Two of the most keenly felt concerns are fear of abandonment, and also fear of being a burden, but people also have concerns about losing their dignity and general loss of control. There are ways that you as a caregiver can provide comfort to a loved one with these worries.

How you can help

Simply keep the person company. Listen. Or talk, watch movies, read or just be there.
Allow them to express the fears and concerns they feel about dying. Be prepared to listen fully, despite the distressing nature of the topic.
Be open and willing to reminisce about the life and past of the person you’re caring for.
Most patients would rather be included in discussions about issues that concern them, so try to avoid keeping any information from them.
Offer reassurance to the patient that you’ll honor their advance directives and wishes, such as living wills or other arrangements.
Ask regularly if there is anything specific you can do for them.
Respect that the person may have a need for privacy and solitude.
Support their spirituality. Allow people to talk about what has meaning for them. Even pray with them if preferred. You can also arrange visits by spiritual leaders or church members if the person would like that.
Keep photos, objects and other things that are meaningful to the person close at hand. Consider making a “memory box” together.

Caregivers should also bear in mind their own mental and physical health during these times. The illness and death of a loved one is a distressing time that can take its toll on the carers. Taking care of a sick person can often result in physical and emotional fatigue for the caregiver, as well as stress, depression and anxiety. It’s so important for caregivers to take the time to take good care of themselves: body, mind, and spirit. Self care, listening to your own body and mind and taking time to rest and recouperate will always help you to better help others; you will have more energy and be more able to cope with stress.

Caregivers might also find it helpful to ask for the support they need from friends and family members. There are many tasks involved in taking care of a loved one who is sick or dying, and asking for help can take some of the load off.

Topics that patients and family members can talk about

A lot of people find it hard to know what to say to someone who is at the end of their life. It’s normal for us to want to be upbeat and positive, rather than think or talk about death. At the same time, it’s important to be honest and realistic about a person’s situation and how unwell they may be. As a caregiver, you can encourage your loved one, and offer reasurance and comfort without giving false hope. Although it’s a time that involves much grieving and the acceptance of loss, this can also be a time for expressing love and gratitude, looking for meaning and rethinking what’s important in life.

Many people tend to look back and reflect on life during this time. It can be a comfort to discuss legacies that have been created and loved ones who will be left behind.

Some topics you might like to explore with a patient at the end of their life:
The happiest and saddest times you shared together
The defining or most important moments of your life together
What are you most proud of
The important things you have taught each other

A lot of patients with serious and life-threatening illness say that being positive and holding onto a sense of humor remains an important thing, and a valuable outlet for them – that even during this difficult and sad time, laughter is still medicine.